Chris Vaillancourt

 

 

Boxes

 

 

Standing still, flecks of dust

clinging to my hair.

Working silent, images

of opened boxes

flicking through

the crevices.

I wonder how many

shovels of dirt

it will take

to bury

every box I opened?

Each box held

some fantasy or secret

which I held inside

but never

opened before.

Standing awake, knowing

the battle will begin

when the last box

is buried.

I'll dig the holes myself.

I'll forget

every image I held

and

pretend that I

am an open book

with empty pages.

That is the facade

I will play.

Like an old song

that is remembered

only by the

ears that happened

to have the radio

on long ago.

I will play the song again.

Hum its melody.

Later I will

put it in a box.

Bury it alongside

the boxes of my dreams.

The storm begins.

I am vulnerable

 and

cannot protect myself

against the

clinging of the doubt.

 

 

Reaching

 

 

If the mind does not

desire, what can

I create to replace it?

 

This looking and

seeking.

This pretending

and being.

 

The path fills

with torn open

paper bags.

Nothing

was found of

any substance

within them.

 

And so I patched

the snow

with plastic glue.

Repaired the holes

and covered the

skin.

 

We might

stand

together when we

speak words that

drive

us

apart.

 

Crows overhead

and snails below.

 

What do I reach for

when my hands are tied?

 

 

Chris Vaillancourt © 2010

 

Aries Ram

 

 

I'm an Aries ram and Lord I use this

to resist you. Dear Christ I feel so afraid.

I'm scared of opening my heart to you,

for fear that

I'd be giving up myself.

I want to cling to the self-inflicted pain

and let it become my life.

But oh Christ I know this

is wrong of me.

Your touch brushes aside my symbols.

You try to thrust your peace upon me.

But oh Lord, I put up

brick walls to keep you away.

Please Jesus help me break them down.

Let this Aries ram put aside

his horns of doubt.

Let this hurting man

feel the love you promise for me.

I'm a deep dark hole

of unrepentant sin.

Carrying a cross that

does not hold your heart.

Oh sweet Jesus put yourself

into my burdens.

Let me open my eyes

to the glories

of your redemption.

Fresh from sin let me arrive

cleansed and ready to

show Your love.

As an Aries ram I jam

away from your salvation.

Yet I know I need to

submit my will to yours.

Crash away my doubts oh

Holy, blessed Lord.

Comfort me for I feel so alone.

Angry eyes follow me as

I walk though my sinful life.

Inside I feel the dark night

of the soul,

and my touch is

filled with demons not laid to rest.

Lord, stop this Aries ram

from losing his soul.

 

 

 

Chris Vaillancourt © 2010