Richard Layton

The House of Lords

Lords Taylor and Truscott were suspended from the
House of Lords after offering to amend legislation for cash

1/ The House of Lords, the House of Lords,
Where Peers are into self-awards;
And cut a certain rakish dash,
Whilst thumbing envelopes for cash.

2/ Burke’s Peerage lists both sage and dunce,
But not the Lords receiving bunce;
Who wouldn’t want a life of ease,
Aspired to by the double-‘T’s’?

3/ Who wouldn’t want to be a toff,
And have one’s hooter in the trough;
To join their Lordships gravy train,
Whilst they campaign for private gain?

4/ Who wouldn’t want to be a ‘Gent’,
And be someone of high-descent,
If membership of such high rank
Meant lots of lolly in the bank?

5/ It only takes genetic nous
To join the noble Upper House;
And hob-nob with those honest nobs
Who legislate for their own jobs.

6/ These days they even like to brag
About the level of their ‘swag’;
And quote a cool ‘one-hundred grand’,
Which must, of course, be ‘cash in hand’!
 
7/ The thrill of wearing erminois
And all those “nice jobs for the boys”
Must make the Bankers seethe with rage
At the perks of a former age!

8/ The House of Lords, The House of Lords,
Where two have fallen on their swords;
Away! with unelected sin,
At least we vote The Commons in!

 Richard Layton © 2009

The NHS

1/ If you’re in hospital today,
Beware the bug, M.R.S.A.;
Beware its friend, C. difficile,
As both can make you rather ill.

2/ Beware the Managers who cost,
‘Efficiency’ against lives lost;
Beware the Trusts whose Chief Execs.
Do what the Government “Expects”.

3/ Beware the modern Alchemists
Who dissipate the ‘Waiting Lists’;
Beware the latest funding wheeze
To bump-up the car parking fees.

4/ Protect the whistle holders pact,
If they protest, they will be sacked;
Protect the dying and the sick
From both the ignorant and thick.

5/ Protect the old and those that hurt
From being treated just like dirt;
Protect the children and the young
From those who lack a kindly tongue.

6/ Beware of anyone who’s seen
To treat the sick like a machine;
Beware tired doctors who inject
Some doses that aren’t circumspect.

7/ Beware consultants, some of whom
Have egos bigger than a room;
Beware accountants who profess,
The interests of the NHS.

8/ If you’re in hospital today
Beware, the most, all those that say
(And make by far the greatest fuss)
“The N.H.S. is safe with us”.

Richard Layton © 2009